Posts Tagged ‘teens’
In a past generation giving a child spanking or paddling was standard form of discipline. In reality, violent for of discipline not always achieve a desired result but instead the act often belittles the child, demeans the parent, teaches children to hit the causes the child to fear, in today society, a lot of effective ways to teach child to do the right things.
GROUNDING, this is a old method but still a good one. Grounding a child can be effective in two ways; first, it takes away her privileges. She understand that she has done something wrong and that are consequences to her actions. Second, disciplinary action is often required for children after they begin to fall in with the wrong crowd or are affected by negative influences. Grounding child is effective in temporarily eliminating those influences and allowing the child to see that there may be better influences out there for her.
TAKE AWAY PRIVILEGES, grounding is one example of taking away a child privileges as discipline; however, there are many other means of taking away a child’s privileges. In today society, children are so reliant on electronics, taking away to computer privileges, television and any electronic games, including cell phone may be successful deterrent for wrongful behavior.
WRITING SENTENCES, it is effective measure of discipline, example write 1000 times of I WILL NOT PULL BETY HAIR AGAIN. Not only doest it takes away a child ability to play for the time being, but is a repetitious task that most children abhor.
ADDITIONAL CHORES, add more chores to your child, regular set of chores as a form of discipline. Order the child to perform a chore that he is not necessary used to; for instance, he could wash the car or clean the garage. This form of punishment could be used in conjunction with taking away the child privileges.
Just because your child is teen does not mean communication has to end. Despite the stereo type of teens shutting parents out of their lives, they still need parenting. Respect and patience are the two tools you can not do without if you want to keep the communication lines open with your teens. It can be hard work, but it can also make all the difference in your teen’s life.
ACTIVE LISTENING, active and respectful listening is one of the most crucial tools you have when communicating with your teen it’s often far less important what you say than what you hear. Your teens need to know that you will not just listen to what they are saying but also hear what they are trying to communicate. Learn to observe body language to ask question to check for understanding and to give neutral responses. Do not interrupt your teen when she is talking to you. Demonstrate genuine and loving interest.
FIGHT FAIR, arguments to your teens are almost inevitable, your job is to keep him safe and ensure that he learn about life. His job is pull away from you and begins to establish his independence. The two of you are from different generations and won’t always see things the same way. So do not expect to avoid all fights. When you fight learn ways to fight fairly. This includes establishing ground rules about how to speak to each other respectfully, giving yourself time out when one or other of you need time to calm down emotionally, allowing each other of you a chance to speak, listening and respectfully when the other is speaking and respecting yourself by stabling appropriate boundaries and rules.
SHARE STORIES, talk to your teens about your life experiences, and be open and honest about them. Do not simply use them as illustration for lectures. Share with your teen who you are so that you’re teen will be more willing to share who she is with you. Tell your teen about choices you made when you were a teenager. Be frank about which ones you would do differently now and why. Be equally honest about decisions that you would make the same way again if given a choice. Talk about how things are different and how they are the same.
Being a responsible parent is the best thing you can do for your children, a good parenting is one of the hardest tasks you face as an adult; remember this children are a reflection of you and your parenting.
- Be consistent to your children, if you threaten punishment make it sure to follow through with it, avoid contradicting yourself and sending mixed messages. Child will never learn boundaries unless they receive consequences, follow through or your children walk all over you.
- Earn their respect, because you birthed them does not mean that they owe you forever. Involve them in some of the decision in your home. Acknowledge when they do a good thing like share or clean their room. Children need to grow up to be well rounded adults because of their parents not in spite on them.
- Establish routine and stick to it, children thrive on predictability so it’s important to do some things around the same time daily. Feed your children and put them down to sleep in the same time. If you stick on that routine, it’s easier to manage the children and have free time for you. Added benefits are that your children are happier and less irritable on their schedule.
- Instill the values of your children, responsible parenting means teaching your children to be responsible, respect, honesty, control, courage and compassion are some values that children need to learn and develop.
- Support other as much as possible; avoid contradicting each other especially in front of your children.
Teenagers are notorious in being difficult to communicate with, in addition to them raging hormones, social life expectation are all time high and also their circle of friend will become critical point of importance in their lives. If you want to maintain the open communication and remind them that their family not their friend should be the number priority developing a close knit relationship is crucial.
BE SPECIFIC, instead of asking everyday question like “How was school?” or “How was your day”? Be more specific. Ask how your geometry class went today, who hung out with at lunch and how her friend doing. The more interesting you show their lives even if they do not show it right away, the more they will feel that you care and likewise be willing to open up to you.
AVOID ASKING YES OR NO QUESTIONS, this give the teenager opportunity to be vague and dodge answering question, this will likely block any type of conversation you are hoping to engage in. you ask open ended question that force to your teenager to elaborate further than simple yes or no or other one word responses.
ALWAYS AVAILABLE, though you are already thin trying to juggle the professional life with home life, it’s crucial that you stay available to your teen when she/he seems interested in talking with you. If your teenager hanging to your room, pay attention something may be on his mind, take opportunity to ask him how things are going and do not be afraid to get specific. Even if you are busy make have a time for him. Make him priority and you will find that his trust in you will grow.
Children need discipline to help them grow into responsible adults. It is your duty as a parent to provide consistency and proper discipline at all ages of your child’s development. Discipline does not consist of spanking or yelling, however. This only teaches your child that it’s OK to treat others badly. Effective discipline takes effort, but pays off in the end when your child becomes a responsible adult.
Remain calm. If you have to grab a young toddler, do so gently. Tell yourself to calm down and take a deep breath. Tell an older child to go to her room for 10 minutes; this gives you a chance to calm down and regain control before you talk to her.
Explain to your child why she was wrong. Do this with all children, even toddlers. For example, if your toddler hit another child, immediately pull her away. Proceed to tell her that hitting is unacceptable. Look your child in the eye and speak slowly. Ask an older child to repeat back the main points to be sure she understands.
Point out alternatives to the bad behavior. Don’t just say, “No, that was wrong.” If a child hit another child, say something like, “That was wrong. Next time you are angry, walk away.” Provide solutions and help your child in the process of growing up.
Give consequences for actions. Your child must pay the price for her misbehavior, and she can’t learn if she isn’t punished. Give a young child a time-out and make the consequences longer and tougher as she gets older. You may feel badly if your child cries, but you must be firm. Remember, you are helping her grow up into a responsible person.
Positively reinforce good behavior. For example, if your child shares a toy with another child, tell her how much you appreciate her sharing. She needs to know you love and appreciate her. She will be less apt to act out if she gets attention for her positive behavior.
Disciplining a teenager with a lack of respect can be very challenging experience, it’s very important to first bond with them and to find some type of connection in order to forget a relationship. Relationships are essential to effective discipline but require respect from both people involved. When teenagers act out, it often bring out similar emotional reaction in the teacher or parents. That’s why it is important to keep this in mind and to work on maintaining composure. Equally important are creating realistic rules and attendant consequences for teenage behavior.
Maintaining self control is essential to your role as an authority. Control your own actions and responses around your teenager. As the role model in the situation you must make it sure that all of your own behaviors are appropriate before a teenager is willing to accept your discipline.
Trying to understand them it is important part of commanding a respect. Communicate with your teenager, a teacher or parents can understand of teen’s problem or concern without accepting inappropriate behavior. It is important to talk the issue, improving communication can improve relationship and listening can give you as a parents or teacher a lot of insight as to why particular behaviors may be surfacing.
Punishment should be fair and designed with particular lesson in mind. Work together when it comes to problem solving. One on one discipline usually gets the best results. Tackle disciplinary issues at home, not in from of friends. Teenagers will often react disrespectfully if they are admonished in front of their friends.
Handing positively discipline help teens develop much needed self esteem. Keep it positive; remember that the ways you handle your teenager now will how to handle issues in the future.
When do you take action? Sooner rather than later is always the best. You can immediately begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask why he/she is using drugs. Get to know your kid’s friends and their parents. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide what the next steps should be. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable — such as a new, earlier curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in new or other activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people. For more information about how to address your teen’s alcohol and drug use and how to set and enforce rules, see our resource list at the end of this page.
While parents can’t choose friends for their kids — especially not their teenagers — they can play a major role in giving teens the skills to make and keep friends. They can also help make sure their teens are making good choices when it comes to friends, because they are at an age when their peers have more influence on them than anyone else. According to a 2005 Ohio State University study, helping teens make friends may be the only real influence parents can have on them.
Teach Friendship Values
1. Talk to your teens about friendships. Let them know that friends help each other feel better about them. The staff at GreatSchools says that parents need to listen without criticizing individual friends and keep talking about what makes a person a good friend.
2. Encourage your teens to see themselves in a positive light. Let your teens know that you are confident in their ability to make friends and to be a good friend. Encourage the behavior you want to see, and be positive about your teens in front of their friends.
3. Let your teen see you spend time with your friends. Always speak respectfully about your friends. Talk to your teen about why you value your friends and what has made them good friends. Explain how you resolve conflicts with your friends.
4. Observe how your teen interacts with friends. If you see signs that he is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, you may not be able to end the friendship, but you can provide guidance. The Children’s Hospital Boston’s Center for Young Women’s Health warns teenagers that no one deserves an unhealthy relationship and that healthy relationships are characterized by trust, respect and good communication.
5. Make a list with your teens about what they expect out of friendships. Talk to them about which traits are most important and whether they practice those things as well. When TeensHealth.org asked teenagers what it takes to be a good friend, they got more than 5,000 responses, with the qualities frequently mentioned being loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness and willingness to sacrifice.
In case you didn’t get the message, texting is the new talking. There no conclusive data on the health effects (yet), but some psychologists worry that over texting may cause anxiety and sleep problems. Fight back by following these rules:
ESTABLISH TEXT FREE ZONES – kids often open up at the dinner table and in the car, so be sure to protect these precious places. Agree that testing is not allowed during mealtime or on drives to and from school and activities.
LET PHONES REST AT NIGHT – many kids text until 4 to 5 a.m. require your child to charge her phone somewhere other than the bedroom.
BE A ROLE MODEL – textaholics say their parents are always on their mobiles. Unplug; your kids may follow suit.