Telling Tall tales…
Your child should understand that lying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Children under age six tell and have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fantasy. Telling tall tales is different from lying; it’s an expression of your child’s imagination and does not mean to harm anyone. However, it may become harmful when your child reaches age six and continues the habit.
Children occasionally experiment with lying. They exaggerate, tell tales or even distort the truth. This can be caused by numerous factors: fear of disappointing a parent, avoiding punishment, seeking attention, crying out for help, avoiding stressful situations or imitating the behavior of adults around him.
- Lying as a fantasy – a playful approach will get you through this stage. Play along with your child fantasy story, then gradually let them know that this is part of their imagination.
- Lying to divert blame – children will go through a stage of trying to divert blame for something they did wrong. Younger ones will blame an imaginary “bad” child. Older kids will tell an outright lie to cover up their guilt and avoid punishment.
- Compulsive lying – habitual lying should be confronted seriously. Consciously watch what your child says; a child who lies compulsively can get very good at it. Keep the upper hand and continually give consequences for lying.
Persistent lies are built on a foundation of little lies that have worked for the child in the past. The child has learned that false statements are effective ways to minimize embarrassment, avoid punishment, gain attention and protect self esteem. Some way to intervene and hopefully stop this behavior before it is too late:
>Set the example – always tell the truth and avoid little white lies.
>Teach your child through role-playing the value of telling the truth. Praise them when they tell the truth.
>Role playing the possible and harmful consequences of lying. Logical consequences need to be in place.
>Do not accept excuses for lying. Lying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
>Kids should understand the upsetting result of lying and should apologize for it. Children should be part of the solution. Ask them what they are prepared to do as a result of the lie. Avoid lectures and quick irrational decisions.
Children often lie to keep their parents or teacher happy. They need to know that you value the truth much more than a small act of misbehavior. Remind them that you are upset with their action and not with them.
If your child lies persistently, keep in mind that it took him a long time to become a master of distorting the truth. You must patiently understand that change with also take time……….
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