Balancing The Boardroom With The Brood – Made Easy!

As a mum you are often the lynchpin of your whole family. If you are tired, stressed and snappy chances are your whole family is tense, as they take their lead from you and pick up on your vibes.

So, how do you get the balance right between being selfless and exhausted to being upbeat and enthusiastic?

One of the first things I encourage mums to do, is to remember what they enjoyed doing before they had kids. As this releases positive happy memories and helps relax you. Was it sitting down with a cup of coffee and a magazine for half an hour, going to a film with your partner, or having a bubble bath with your favourite fragrance and a scented candle?

This will help to tap you back into what makes you smile, relax and feel nurtured. As a mum you are often so busy looking after, and nurturing others, that you neglect your own needs and start to run on empty.

I believe it’s really important to look after yourself first because then you are in better shape emotionally, physically and mentally to look after your family positively.

That’s why on planes they drop your mask first so you can then help your child!

In my Work-Life Balance Workshops I use a wheel to outline ideas.  It is a really simple tip and takes a few moments.  Grab a pen and jot down your ideas in each spoke of the wheel, usually 7 spokes.

Take a few moments to relax and breathe deeply and slowly, which helps you to become creative, and start to think of fun ways to re-charge your batteries and replenish your energy.

Have some fun thinking of different ways you can relax and write them into the wheel.

Now you’ve got 7 ideas to either do once a week, once a month or once a day to help you unwind, lift your spirits and recharge your batteries. These ideas will keep you enthusiastic and positive if you pop them in your diary, keep them by the phone or pop them on the fridge to remind you.

I hereby grant you permission to BANISH THE BIG GUILT GREMLIN!

I’m here to tell you that looking after yourself and nurturing yourself is one of the key ingredients of being a great parent and a brilliant mum.

Let go of being the perfect parent.

Lots of mums feel only they can do all the jobs that need doing properly or know their kids bedtime routines or little foibles. But being a perfectionist is unrealistic and exhausting and it also denies your child the broader experience of others contributing to their lives and doing things in different way.

So allow people to help you and don’t take it as a weakness or a criticism or an indication that you can’t cope. We all need a break so we can bounce back full of renewed energy and raring to go.

Delegate

One of the quickest ways to alleviate the feelings of overwhelm is to delegate jobs around the house.

Young children love to help and can start by laying the table or putting their toys away, teenagers can bring down their washing and can in fact turn on the washing machine if you show them (as they are the most technically advanced kids of their generation!) and partners really can load up the dishwasher if they know it makes you smile more!

It’s about being open and confident about asking and also expecting your family to be a team willing to pull together to help each other.

So grab a pen and paper to just brainstorm all the jobs you currently do that could be shared out amongst your family and jot them down.

Now just relax, close your eyes and daydream. Imagine your family happily and willingly doing their jobs easily. Make the picture in your mind full of colour and sounds and bring the picture up close to you and feel how good it feels when everyone is pulling their weight and being part of a family team.

Now ask yourself:

What will be the benefits to your children if they learn to help? (independence, confidence, co-operation, responsibility?)

What will be the benefits to you?

What could be some of the obstacles in the way to this happening?

How will you get round them?

What do you need to do to make these new ways into habits?

Relax, daydream and rehearse what you want to say, how you want to say it and where you want to talk with your family. (This gives you confidence, clarity and purpose)

Imagine it going well and enjoy those feelings and relax.

Nurturing your needs, giving yourself “time out” and “me time” is a vital part of respecting yourself and valuing your very important role as a mum.

So make a date with yourself and a commitment to making a couple of small changes this Mother’s Day to look after yourself and watch your confidence, enthusiasm and happiness soar.

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