Archive for July 4th, 2012
Just because your child is teen does not mean communication has to end. Despite the stereo type of teens shutting parents out of their lives, they still need parenting. Respect and patience are the two tools you can not do without if you want to keep the communication lines open with your teens. It can be hard work, but it can also make all the difference in your teen’s life.
ACTIVE LISTENING, active and respectful listening is one of the most crucial tools you have when communicating with your teen it’s often far less important what you say than what you hear. Your teens need to know that you will not just listen to what they are saying but also hear what they are trying to communicate. Learn to observe body language to ask question to check for understanding and to give neutral responses. Do not interrupt your teen when she is talking to you. Demonstrate genuine and loving interest.
FIGHT FAIR, arguments to your teens are almost inevitable, your job is to keep him safe and ensure that he learn about life. His job is pull away from you and begins to establish his independence. The two of you are from different generations and won’t always see things the same way. So do not expect to avoid all fights. When you fight learn ways to fight fairly. This includes establishing ground rules about how to speak to each other respectfully, giving yourself time out when one or other of you need time to calm down emotionally, allowing each other of you a chance to speak, listening and respectfully when the other is speaking and respecting yourself by stabling appropriate boundaries and rules.
SHARE STORIES, talk to your teens about your life experiences, and be open and honest about them. Do not simply use them as illustration for lectures. Share with your teen who you are so that you’re teen will be more willing to share who she is with you. Tell your teen about choices you made when you were a teenager. Be frank about which ones you would do differently now and why. Be equally honest about decisions that you would make the same way again if given a choice. Talk about how things are different and how they are the same.