Archive for the ‘Teenager’ Category
It is almost inevitable that at some point every teenager will go through heartache. This likely will seem like the end of the world to them at least for a short time and as parents you will worry about your teenager during this period. Here are some steps you can take to help your teenager through this tough time.
REMIND OF GOOD QUALITIES – a bad breakup can reduce anyone’s self esteem and this is especially true for teenagers who might not have developed their own reserves of confidence as yet. Tell her of the great qualities she has and what she has to look forward to and remind her of the friends she has who are there for her.
COMMUNICATION – your teen might not feel much like talking when heartbroken especially to his parents but ensure that he knows that you are there if need be. Keep communication channels open and remind him that you are willing to talk through what has happened if he wants.
GIVE TIME – don’t expect you’re teen to get over her heartbreak immediately, and don’t pressure her into talking or taking action if she doesn’t want to at least not initially. Teens vary in how they react to heartbreak and while some simply appear withdrawn for a few days in other feelings surface as anger.
GO OUT – if your teen is feeling down and moping around it could be that she’s stuck in a rut and doesn’t know what to do with her self. You can attempt to get her out of this situation by encouraging her to go out and get involved with new activities or meet with friends.
PAY ATTENTION TO WARNING SIGNS – while many teen overcome heartbreak and are back to their usual selves in no time, you should be aware that heartbreak can lead to depression.
Talking to a teenager may seem like you are attempting a conversation with someone from another planet. They are children trying their best to be grown ups. Communication during this period of time is just as important as any other time in their development, but it will take more work on your end than it has in the past to have an open and production conversation with a teen.
Here are some tips how to talk to teenagers:
- Be connected with the teenager – one thing that continuously a run through a teenager’s mind is the need to belong to be connected to what is going on. Find some activities and conversation topics that you can both participate in and enjoy.
- Stop, look and listen – it is easy to get wrapped up in everything else, excluding the teenager. Take a minute to stop what you are doing or thinking and look for signs that he has something to say.
- Set a goal together – it is natural to want to tell a teenager what they should not be doing. Instead, talk through any issue, good or bad that may come up and set goals on how to proceed together.
- Know when to apologize and then follow through – apologies are not just for other adults, co-workers and strangers you pass on the street. It you have done something that you need to apologize for a loud outburst or an inconsiderate opinion, for instance apologize to the teen.
- Show a respect to your teen to teach him to respect you too. One of the major problems that can arise with teenagers is an apparent lack of respect. Evaluate how respectful you are actually being with the teen and show him the courtesy and respect that you would like to be treated with.
While parents can’t choose friends for their kids — especially not their teenagers — they can play a major role in giving teens the skills to make and keep friends. They can also help make sure their teens are making good choices when it comes to friends, because they are at an age when their peers have more influence on them than anyone else. According to a 2005 Ohio State University study, helping teens make friends may be the only real influence parents can have on them.
Teach Friendship Values
1. Talk to your teens about friendships. Let them know that friends help each other feel better about them. The staff at GreatSchools says that parents need to listen without criticizing individual friends and keep talking about what makes a person a good friend.
2. Encourage your teens to see themselves in a positive light. Let your teens know that you are confident in their ability to make friends and to be a good friend. Encourage the behavior you want to see, and be positive about your teens in front of their friends.
3. Let your teen see you spend time with your friends. Always speak respectfully about your friends. Talk to your teen about why you value your friends and what has made them good friends. Explain how you resolve conflicts with your friends.
4. Observe how your teen interacts with friends. If you see signs that he is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, you may not be able to end the friendship, but you can provide guidance. The Children’s Hospital Boston’s Center for Young Women’s Health warns teenagers that no one deserves an unhealthy relationship and that healthy relationships are characterized by trust, respect and good communication.
5. Make a list with your teens about what they expect out of friendships. Talk to them about which traits are most important and whether they practice those things as well. When TeensHealth.org asked teenagers what it takes to be a good friend, they got more than 5,000 responses, with the qualities frequently mentioned being loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness and willingness to sacrifice.
The relationship between a mother and daughter is a unique one. It can be strain at times as you balance the complex role of friend versus mother. The most important aspect of a solid relationship with your daughter is honesty, but you can help build a strong rapport with your teenager daughter by spending time with her and doing a variety of activities.
SHOPPING MALL, teenage girls usually enjoy shopping for clothes and accessories. Try to be supportive and helpful while she picking out and trying on clothes.
GARDEN STORE, choose one weekend day and take your teen to your favorite garden store. Select a plant to plant in your yard that represents your relationship. Enjoy watching the plant grow, just like your relationship with your daughter.
COMMUNITY EVENT, choose community event that interest both of you, research volunteer opportunities in your area and select one to attend. This volunteer activity not only allows you to spend time with your teen but also sets a good example for the importance of helping other and giving back to your community.